jasonptodd:

jasonptodd:

*eats my wedding vows after reading them so no one will have physical proof of my vulnerability*

this guy gets it

(via shmelizabeth)

the-real-stevie-nicks:

willinq:

seanographic:

Me as a judge: Do you swear to spill the tea , the whole tea , and nothing but the tea

We find the defendant to be actual trash. Take a fucking sip babes

(via shmelizabeth)

normal-horoscopes:

Aries: The stars say to drink lots of water but they pronounced it kinda weird.

Taurus: Tomorrow will be like a tractor, methodical and full of gears.

Gemini: A bit of soul got knocked off today and its rattling around in your stomach.

Cancer: Keep a sharp eye out. That way it can be drawn and sheathed quickly.

Leo: Take advantage of your opportunity. Its not often one gets to physically punch sadness.

Virgo: Preserve the chaos of the universe and present a scorned lover with a live chicken.

Libra: Don’t worry so much. If all else fails you can sell dirt as medicine to white people.

Scorpio: When signing up for classes next semester, avoid the teacher who uses a boa constrictor as a whip.

Saggatarius: Find order in your life by replacing all recepticles in your home with identical shoeboxes.

Capricorn: Make some money in your spare time by dreaming for other people.

Aquarius: The best history teachers carry ornamental maces. You are that teacher.

Picses: A trenchcoat seems too hot. It’s only raining ash.

(via shmelizabeth)

hirellon:

gentlemanbones:

samurott:

*blows kiss down to the ground (for the skeletons)*

@normal-horoscopes I’m glad you’re getting recognition

(via shmelizabeth)

snotferret:

postmodernmulticoloredcloak:

birdschoolforbirds:

howdoesmagnusdie:

mens-rights-activia:

Anyway, I think I have a better explanation for the actual meaning of the whole imagine how is touch the sky picture.

So my Facebook friend pointed out that it’s actually a direct translation of the Spanish phrase “Imagina cómo sería tocar el cielo”

Which means “imagine how it would be to touch the sky.” But a literal translation of it would be “imagine how is touch the sky.”

Meaning the picture wasn’t just a meaningless jumbled mess of English, it was just a case of bad translation.

Allegedly, “imagina cómo sería tocar el cielo” is a Hannah Montana lyric so it’s probably why it was written aesthetically on the paper and the paper was held up to the sky.

Alright folks, case closed. You can all stop pretending “imagine the sky, how is the sky, touch the sky” makes that much more sense than:

The end of an era. The discourse is over.

First my immortal now this. 2017 is the year old memes die

Another seal of the apocalypse broken

(via shmelizabeth)